Hazards of Critiquing

As an author, I’ve grown tremendously through the honest, straight-forward feedback I’ve received from my critique partner in the past several years. She has the ability to point out the weaknesses as well as my strengths in writing and therefore I have benefited. Likewise, she has told me a number of times how I have caught the obvious or pointed out areas in which I thought she could enhance her stories. Before teaming up with my critique partner I had tried a number of groups—some which helped and others which destroyed. I was just about to give up on the idea of critiquing when Julie came into the picture. I had finally discovered, realized and witnessed through personal literary improvement the benefits of finding that perfect critique partner or group.

But (there’s always that but)…learning to depend and rely on critiquing also has its hazards. Not with the work-in-progress but with family and friends. Through the years I’ve discovered that I became more analytical with letters received or sentiments sent. I never realized it until recently when my best friend brought it up to me, “Why do you always have to analyze everything I write? It makes me cautious and leery of speaking honestly.” Now there was a critique that was a real eye opener.

The more I heard, “that’s not what I meant,” or “you misunderstood what I was trying to say,” the more I realized that constructive criticism is meant to stay within the writer’s world—between critique partners and far away from personal relationships. It’s important to critique partners to be constructive, honest, sometimes brutal in a caring sense—but those around us can and do get hurt when we allow the critiquing to flow into letters which were once written with honesty and excitement and, through our critiques or “analyzing” turned our friend into cautious individuals who end up withholding what they want to convey in fear it will be picked apart or misconstrued. Honesty is invaluable amongst friends and I hope I can succeed in letting my friends know that I am sorry for looking at their written sentiments and feelings with a critical eye rather than with an open and grateful heart. From this day forward I pledge to keep critiquing where it belongs—with MY writing—NOT the writings of my friends and family outside my writing world.